How To Know Your Help Mate


Written by: Omaraye Derek

We must realize that marriage is a deep journey and only one suitable person is permitted to travel with you.
NLT Bible. Genesis 2:18
[18]Then the lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.”

Welcome another great series and nay your life embrace peace and joy. Today we shall consider “help mate”.

I would like you to consider the verse sited and if possible use your translation.

NLT Bible. Judges 7:4
[4]But the lord told Gideon, “There are still too many! Bring them down to the spring, and I will test them to determine who will go with you and who will not.”

Taking a critical look at this verse. We see that God had to interrupt Gideon. He seems to say not every one that matches your glimpse is right to travel with you. God told him allow me to test them for you.

Brethren, I must confess that without the holy Spirit we are surely the most foolish of all people. Nobody can play smart when it comes to the issue of picking the right partner. Only God knows the right person. Your education can not solve that but only God can. 

Marriage is a journey that you need to go with the right person. Not only that, you also need to be equiped to go with your partner. In other words, there’s great need to be enlighten that being a partner in marriage is a huge responsibility. In marriage you are strongly advised to bring everything along. This includes your intelligence, number six, soul, might, mind, focus, energy etc. because you are going to play a vital role. I repeat, your heart and head is required.

In Genesis, God had already given assignment to Adam but he needed a helper. He needed a suitable partner. Not every one is suitable.

Only one person is suitable.

In amplified version it says “adaptable”. That’s a hard nut because not every one can adapt to you.

Not every one can adapt to the mission God had given you. This is why I know that after this relationship series, your life will take a new dimensions.

God had to create Eve because she is suitable and adaptable. In NLT it says ‘just right’. Not every one is right for you. Not every food that is palatable is right for you.

If someone walk out of your life please consider him or her not suitable for you. Don’t beg anybody or force any one to marry you. Gideon left with thirty two thousand armies and twenty two thousand were dismissed because they were afraid. So be extremely careful.

Ten thousand remained, God had to deploy his microwave filter to remove nine thousand seven hundred. Only three hundred were left.

When God brought Eve no doubt she was not perfect but she was suitable for Adam.

What I am sharing with you now is a misery. Eve had flaws but she was adaptable, she had her rough edges but she was the right person for the job. God saw all her mistakes but she was the qualified one. This too, was applicable to Adam. He was the right fellow for Eve and the most suitable for her. He had his rough edges but was still the one.

Remember in marriage, both partners are to be a helper to each other. So, If your current partner can not push you forward in life then I doubt if he or she is the person.

Your partner must be a helper not an onlooker or an idler. He or she mustn’t be a critical person that is out to frustrate you and your vision in life rather he or she should be coming to help and not to destroy.

There are people you move with in life you will start jumping forward like a kangaroo and from pillar to post. Once you are attached to such people, the grave begins to call very fast. God should be our match maker.

What does a helper do?

He or she renders help. He or she must be mentally and physically involve in your affair(s) for there are no distinctive responsibility in marriage. They are all interwoven for Eve was to compliment Adam and same was for Adam. A woman that only come to marriage to chop!! chop!! is not good enough. A woman that only knows how to right her bills at the end of the month is not good enough. In marriage, there must be a four hands not two or even three.

A man that only knows how to waste resources is not good enough.

There is no pride in marriage. Both parties must work hard. We must do away with the traditions of Africa that only limits woman to the kitchen.

Ladies you are not supposed to be a full time house wife because you are not a flower in the house just to decorate the house that’s one reason I love Rebekah in the Bible for she was a shepherdess and very active.

Men are actually looking for vision helpers. Even though she is not extremely beautiful but once she has virtues, good character and hard working. She becomes a hot cake.

Men! ladies are looking for security and someone that can help their vision and not handsomeness. For they need someone with brain, character, godliness and a helper in spiritual, economic and social matters.

Men who parade themselves with their father’s car. Listen, your dad’s Jeep is not your Jeep. You must prove to your partner that you are capable.

Today! Be a helper to your partner. See you next series as I await your relationship testimonies.


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